Faithfulness Part 6: Out of control, But God is in control

Psalm 139:5- You have hedged me behind and before.  And laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.

Maybe a better topical title for this page is "Trust".  Being able to trust in the Lord and lean on Him for He is faithful.

I spent the last three months with little direct communication with the Lord; and Yet It was one of the most difficult seasons in my life.  My mom just passed away.  The  family is torn in misunderstanding, long time resentments, old hurts, whole stories never told or understood, pain, fear, resentment, lost love.  A family business that needed to be re-opened (a brother that needs employment).  Old accumulated debts to be handled.  Old past taxes never filed, needed to be handled.  The list goes on and on.  Add to this unemployment for myself for the past months and little funds to go around and cover the bills that come up in a burial/probate/executor-ship.  I was consumed. Every minute of my day taken up. Add shock from the death of my mom.  And now I am taken away from some of my weekly bible studies.

The place that I am in is: hard, hard, hard. - But the Lord knew of it far before me.  - And prepared me far in advance.  In this one thing that I knew.  I was out of control; but I knew my Lord was in control. -And Indeed, did He take over control in that first month, supplemented with the prayers of family and friends.  I was given  a power and strength to do and work so hard.  Doors were slung open for me to get everything in line and up and running.  Even to give an amazing eulogy, not of myself, not of my understanding, but with the Lord's intercession, to try to heal these broken hearts, and gather more of this family to himself.  I cannot begin to list all of the help, or all of the intercession that He did. - But I became aware of it later.  When His hand started to be with-drawn, as , I needed to start to put some spiritual labor back in these things.  Not that the Lord needs it ;but it was clear to me afterwards, that He wants us to labor in it.  So much more can be done, when are hearts and minds are aligned with His purposes and we put forth an effort in these directions.

The prior year was filled with preparation for this event.  One verse comes to mind. It was given as I was whining and complaining to Him of how tough and hard the previous paths were:  Jeremiah12:5  "If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, Then how can you contend with horses?  And If in the land of peace,  In which you trusted, they wearied you, Then how will you do in the floodplains of the Jordan?  It spoke to me in a time when I tried to lean on my own strength and my own wits to carry me through the struggles.  I was wearied as a footmen.  Then a latter stage of growth with my Lord, was one of staying in the Word and in Prayer and laboring as Hard as I could in these things, of the spirit and the Lord, to keep things going, but again I was wearied to some degree even in these things (Yet don't let me confuse you-  I was wearied but taking on major leaps and bounds in taking the land or achieving successes).  Oooo  I felt like I was running with the horses.  Yet with this latest set of trials.  I was out of control.  The time I had to devote to the Lord was taken away from me for a season.  The trials before me were not of my own doing, but I had to take on the left over trials of someone else.  - As well as handle my own.  The guidance I received form the Lord, I could not hear. (Not that the Lord abandoned me, but the guidance that I was used too, was gone.)  It was a time when I had no other recourse but to Trust in Him.  I offered my prayers- with no (or little feedback) from the Lord.  My Spiritual life that I so leaned upon - at least the emotional side of it seemed to be with-held.  Yet God's hand was obvious to me with all the physical works that were being performed all around me.  You see "the flood plain of the Jordan" speaks of things beyond us.  As is a flood an act of God.  Likewise it takes God working on our side to carry us through these events or trials.

It was an amazing thing!  I look back on it now with Joy.  Because As I lost Control, and had no other recourse but to give it to the Lord, the Lord started handling things.  Then there was a peace and a rest. 

Unfortunately, with this rest I also tended to get a little lazy.  Maybe taking a little longer of a rest than I should have.  But the Lord showed me even this:  The day I lost control.  He took over and caused gain in: work, ministries, and the lives of my family around me.   But later He showed me How much more gain was accomplished, when my heart was again working with His.  Then the gain was doubled and sometimes tripled.

And it seems we tend to forget as we go through these various trials, and labor is hard, to have Joy written on our faces and in our hearts.  It is in these times the Lord excels.  It is in these times that our friends and families look at us and stand amazed, What has he got?  Where does this strength come from? Peace? and Joy?  It is in these times that our living testimonies scream out to those around us:  Of God's wonderful works, mercy, power and compassion, and most importantly that we can Trust in Him.


Faithfulness index

Faithfulness Part 1: There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Great is Thy Faithfulness!

Faithfulness Part 2: Scripture His Faithfulness

Faithfulness Part 3: Scripture Chastening 

Faithfulness Part 4: Your Faithfulness to God

Faithfulness Part 5: Overview Diary notes in a time of difficulty Previous page in series

Faithfulness Part 6: Out of control, But God is in control

Faithfulness Part 7:  Notes in a time of peril Next page in series

Faithfulness Part 8:  Knowing God, God knowing you, and your love relationship with one another.

Faithfulness Part 9:  Praise of His Faithfulness